Irrational Love
by Marielyfan
Summary: Just a little one-shot that happens around the end of the first season, when Beckett "didn't like" having Castle around. Just a little trip into Beckett's mind during that time and my take on what she would have felt if Castle told her he was leaving. It may be a bit OOC but I hope not too much.


**AN: Hello guys! This is my first Castle fic and it happens around the end of the first season, when Beckett "didn't like" having Castle around. Just a little trip into Beckett's mind during that time and my take on what she would have felt if Castle told her he was leaving. It may be a bit OOC but I hope not too much.**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine!**

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It was a regular day at the precinct. Phones were ringing, people were coming in and out, police officers were doing paperwork, some were interviewing suspects... But one of them was bored out of her mind.

Most of the officers would be thankful to have a few hours to relax, to not be chasing down suspects or going in and out of gory crime scenes, but not Detective Kate Beckett.

Katherine Beckett was one of the best murder detectives at the 12th precinct of New York. She could do her job better than anybody else, but lately, she had encountered a bit of a problem...

One of her cases from a few months ago had involved a very successful writer, Richard Castle, a crime novelist. He had been a person of interest in the investigation and, after being ruled out as a suspect, he helped solve the case.

After that case, he decided to follow the pretty detective around to get inspiration to write a new book, and being friends with the Major of New York, he didn't have a lot of problems to get what he wanted.

Naturally she blew the guy off, but the Captain of the precinct thought otherwise.

Much to her annoyance she was stuck with Castle.

But now, sitting at her desk alone, working on paperwork, with no one distracting her from her boring duties, she had to admit that he really had helped out in some of the cases. And, she had to face it; she was having no fun before he came around.

Her train of thought was interrupted by the ringing on her phone. She picked it up, listened intently for a few seconds, scribbled something down on her little note book and got out of the building followed by her colleagues, Detectives Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito. There was a murder to be solved.

That evening, they were all back at the precinct again. It had been a fairly easy case and they were already closing it. No crazy antics, no secret alliances, no weird theories, no deep twisted motives... Just your regular murder brought on by jealousy and money. Detective Beckett could've closed it with her eyes closed.

So, she sits down at her desk and starts working on her paperwork again.

"Kate" called Castle, who had gone with them but didn't even have time to build a crazy theory given that the case was so obvious.

_"Kate?" He never calls me Kate, _though the detective. _This must be pretty serious._ She followed him into the break room and closed the door.

"What is it Castle?" She said putting her hand on her hip.

"I need to talk to you" he said entreatingly.

"Then talk" she frowned having no idea what all this was about.

"I've finished my book. There's no reason for me to keep following you. No reason for me to keep working with you guys. As much as I enjoy it, I know you don't really like having me around" he said in a dismal tone.

She stood there dazed. She felt a rush of emotions going through her head_. Castle was being selfish? Wow! I really have rubbed off on him... _She thought. "Well..." Is all she said.

She knew she should be relieved. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time, but she had gotten used to having him around. She couldn't really envision going back to what it used to be.

"You don't look relieved..." He said confused "I thought you'd be happy to finally get rid of me".

"I am relieved!" She lied. Well, she really wasn't sure if it was a lie. "I'm just thinking about Ryan and Esposito. You guys seemed to get along very well."

"Yeah, well, I'll talk to them later."

"Oh, great" she said without any inflection, trying to control the emotional turmoil that was still rushing through her mind.

"I must say it was a pleasure with you working with you detective" he said shaking her hand.

"And I have to admit that it wasn't that bad working with you Castle" she said, a small smile lighting her face.

He gave her his signature smirk and started walking out of the room. When he got to the door, he turned to look at her, now serious "Goodbye Kate". He opened the door and walked out.

She was left standing there, with all her thoughts racing through her head.

She knew she should be relieved, but for some reason she wasn't. She knew he was a liability. He made her already dangerous job, even more so. He didn't have any training whatsoever and still followed her and her team into risky situations. She had to protect her people and herself, and on top of that she had to protect him too.

_It's good that he's gone,_ she tried to convince herself.

Another thought crossed her mind_, there's no way he's leaving! He enjoys playing cop way too much! He's going to find a way to come back..._ _He has to. He can write another book!_

For some reason this gave her a warm feeling.

_What if I tell him not to leave?_

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind. _God!_ She couldn't think like that! She was falling for him?! She couldn't ask him to come back! She was too strong to need someone! Even less someone like him! Calling him back would be wrong…_ I cannot be falling for him! _She needed to remind herself.

_Needing someone like him would just be irrational... Right?_

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**AN: There! I hope you liked it! And please point out any mistakes you might have found**


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